Post War Love
by emmiswe
Summary: Spoilers including the Christmas Special. We all knew that we couldn't just leave them  there at the end of Season two. This story will mainly focus on Earl Grantham and Jane Moorsum. Chapter four: post the Christmas Special
1. Chapter 1

Because I think their story was one of Downton Abbey's best

I.

Jane was on her way home from the post office. There had been no letter from Freddie, but she knew she had been overly optimistic, after all, she had gotten one just last week. But she had written back to him and posted it the very next day. Surely he must have gotten it by now. Well, at least he seemed to be happy at Ripon. She would never be able to repay Lord Grantham.

"No, Jane, no" she mumbled to herself. She couldn't think of him, mustn't.

Instead she started going over the day. Things had been normal at the public house. In the morning the regular lot, then more around luncheon, after that they had had some quiet hours to clean and prepare for the evening and then there had been full house as usual. At least she didn't have to stay the whole evening, she dreaded the men who used to stare and wink at her, despite her wearing her wedding ring. No, she did not want to think of them either and turned her thoughts back to Freddie as she unlocked the door to her small house. When she opened the door she got a terrible fright. She cried out and froze in her step, unable to believe her own eyes. But then she forced herself to pull herself together, she put down her bags and closed the door.

"Lord Grantham? What . . . ?" Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham, looked at the woman before him, feeling slightly embarrassed and much out of place in the tiny, but perfectly clean kitchen. He had had time to inspect the house and had found it, as he had found everything about Jane, simple, charming and absolutely perfect.

"I am sorry to frighten you. Your landlord was kind enough to let me in, I told him I was from Freddie's school. I came to see how you were doing" he started hesitantly, and not until now did it hit him that the landlord might not have believed his story.

Jane couldn't help but smile and with slow uncertain steps did she approach him. Robert shook off the thoughts of the landlord and closed the remaining distant. His hand seemed to act on its own and was put to her cheek in a tender caress "I just desperately needed to see how you were."

She was still smiling, still unable to believe it, but he was there. He was really there. He looked at her with that melancholy gaze and she so wanted to conform him, assure him. She covered his hand with her own.

"I am well. How are you?" her sweet voice released something within him and finally he smiled back.

"Much better now when I've seen you" then he became aware of his hand still on her cheek and under her small hand. He hastily removed it. That had not been the reason for his visit, he had simply wanted to know that she was well. After all, it had been his fault that she had had to leave her position and her stable life at Downton. He walked over to the small table by the tiny window through which he could see the grey back yard. Jane remained still, not wanting to rush him, and awaited his next move while trying to make her heart slow down.

"I spoke to my banker" he said in a much clearer voice now from a safe distance and turned back to her "he told me that you had contacted him, but you had not taken the money, nor had you accepted his offer to help you find a position."

He had spoken to her with great importance and she took on his tone while folding her hands to keep them steady. "That money is for Freddie when he has finished school, I will not touch them until then. As for the position, there was one as a maid, but your lordship knew the family so I figured . . ." she tried to force the smile back on her lips, but it did not reach her eyes "And as you can see, I manage perfectly well"

"So you _have_ been avoiding me?" he asked with that serious tone of his that never seemed to work on his family. Jane stared at her feet and Robert silently scolded himself and sighed. "Of course you have, and rightfully so" he sat down on a chair, the only chair. "You are much stronger than I am"

The woman shook her head, hurried over to kneel before him and took his hands in hers. He looked down at her with a sad defeated look on his face. She wetted her lips and then spoke "Not a day goes by without me catching myself thinking of you, even though I know I shouldn't . . . I just thought this would be better for, for everyone. And you are strong, I know you are"

Lord Grantham rose and helped his former maid to rise from the floor. He caressed her sweet face and looked into her tearstained eyes. "No, I'm not" Why did it have to be so difficult? Why did they ever put themselves in this position? Finally he leaned in and kissed her, just as passionately as he had done their first time.

There was no end to his relief when she this time placed her arms around his neck and kissed him back. This was dangerous, he knew. No Bates who could come and interrupt, Freddie being far away, no one to stop him from placing his arms around her waist to draw her nearer, and then lead her to what he had discovered earlier to be her bedroom. It was wrong, so very wrong, but could it be, when it felt so right? He was thinking in clichés, so he tried to stop thinking altogether, to just savour each moment with his precious Jane.

Afterwards he held her in his arms. Mostly to hold her close, but also because he was afraid she might fall out of the narrow bed if he let go. Jane closed her eyes in bliss. Part of her had been afraid that once they had made love he would turn around and leave, so afraid to once again be rejected. She realized she had been unfair. The room was even smaller than the kitchen, it reminded him of a closet, but made them a safe little cocoon. However, Robert couldn't help but wonder if the room and kitchen made enough space to house two people. For example, where did Freddie sleep when he was home from school?

"Percival told me that though you turned down the position with the family, you still found work" he made a small unintentional pause "in a public house" he had attempted to sound at ease with it, though failing and his disapproval shined through clearly. Her only response was to take a firmer hold of the arm he had placed around her. "I'm sorry, Jane. I've no right to . . ."

But she looked up at him with steady eyes. "I give you the right." Surprise showed in his face, but he quickly composed himself.

"Oh, well then, I don't want you to work there, it's no place for you. I'll sort something. I promise it won't be with any family friends." He added and placed a kiss on her shoulder. She didn't answer and he was grateful, grateful she didn't thank him, grateful she didn't ask what would happen next. "How's Freddie?" he asked to change the subject.

Again she didn't answer, but gently released herself from his hold and sat up on the edge of the bed. His eyes watched how her loose dark hair contrasted to her pale skin. He felt an urge to reach out and touch it and still lying, he let his hand gently stroke her back. She shivered. "Jane? Jane, what is it? Freddie is alright, isn't he?" it had to be the mentioning of her son that had upset her, he would not be able to handle if it was him and his actions that had now caused her distress.

"Yes, yes, he's good, very good" she turned back to him and Robert could read the sadness in her eyes as well as in her voice "I just miss him so." he felt with her, recognizing his own sense of loss over Sybil. He opened up his arms and she dived back into his embrace. "I'm so glad he's there though, so grateful to you" she was shaking slightly

"Shh, there, there . . . there's no shame in missing your child, your only child at that. It's perfectly natural" she nodded, then tilted her head to look at him, her eyes, as always, mild and caring.

"How about you? I heard about Lady Sybil" Robert wasn't surprised, wondering if there was anyone in England who hadn't heard that the youngest daughter of Earl Grantham had ran away with the chauffeur.

"Did you? Well, she's in Ireland now, and I do miss her . . ." he was talking more to himself than to her and quickly decided he did not want to talk about it at all. Instead he kissed her again, a long sweet kiss and he could feel her lips curve into a smile. It had never been like this with Cora, to be in love and just starting to know each other. At the time he had developed that sort of feelings for his wife, they had already been married for almost a year.

He started tracing kisses over Jane's neck and collar bone and pulled her over him. She laughed, oh, it was a wonderful laughter, and he couldn't help but join her as strands of her hair fell into his face. He wondered what time it was, but decided they had time, he could always say he'd missed the train. And as he made love to her for the second time, he knew he had to see her again.

i

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	2. Chapter 2

When Robert visited Jane some time after their reunion, the circumstances were quite different. He had procured a minor house for her, though much bigger than her earlier lodgings. He had also dwelled the question of employment back and forth with Percival, but hadn't found anything suitable and had decided it was for the best if he provided for her altogether. Percival had, in his defence as discreetly as possible, wondered if maybe the woman were with child, whereupon Lord Grantham had answered with a firm negative. Maybe it was something to think about, but anything regarding Jane that didn't concern the following 24 hours, he just didn't see worth worrying over. It was now two months since he had traced her, and they had spent several stolen and far too short afternoons together.

A part of him couldn't help but feeling guilty over the ease and practicality he had handled it all with. He had never been good at playing an unexpected hand. That had always been his mother's talent, so perhaps he did have some of her in him after all.

He quickly looked around the empty street before he used his key to let himself into the house. The moment he closed the door, only five minutes late, his Jane came running towards him and all the worries of the outside world left his shoulders and he burst up into a big smile. He took her in his arms and with ease swung her around with a joy that he'd thought he had left with his youth. Maybe he had been born again. He put her down, still smiling that ridiculous big smile, because here everything was fine, here everyone was happy.

"Hi" he said softly. She smiled back at him, shining like a sun. His feelings of guilt all vanished in an instant and he all he could think was that it was almost unbelievable that he had managed not to act on his feelings her whole first year at Downton.

"Hi" She had never pictured herself to be so happy again, not after she'd been informed of Eric's death. But here they were. She knew she ought to feel bad about it, any decent woman would. But when he wasn't there she forced herself not to think of Downton and when he was there, how could she be anything else but happy? They kept looking into each other's eyes until she realized he was still wearing his coat, hat and gloves.

"Let me" she said and started taking off his coat. He handed it to her, but then wouldn't let go. For a split of a second he had been back at Downton handing a maid his coat and it made him feel utterly uncomfortable. But once again he tried to shake off any feeling of the outside world and let go. Jane smiled at him with a curious look, but simply shook her head and hung up his coat. She had to go up on her tippy toes to reach the hanger and her dress went up a bit, showing her calves. It was a simple navy blue dress, worn but otherwise perfectly fine. However, even Robert could see that it was old fashioned. He had been so occupied thinking about house, furniture, food and her son, he had completely forgotten about her wardrobe.

"Let me buy you a dress" he asked spontaneously with a cheerful smile. Jane turned around in bafflement.

"What?"

"A dress, maybe two, to start with" Now when he had uttered the idea, he found it was a great one. He could already see her in a beautiful light blue dress, ready to accompany him to the theatre in London. Jane walked over to him with a happy, but slightly confused expression upon her face.

"Robert, you don't have to buy me things, you've already done so much." Her gaze flickered, but soon returned to him. She was not some young girl obsessed with pretty things. "I'm happy just to be with you" he looked at her in earnest, still unaware of the problem.

"I want to. Well, maybe I'm not the best adviser on dresses. Especially not with this new fashion" he figured there was a reason why Cora and the girls never asked for his opinion when it came to their wardrobes "but I have an excellent tailor. And I visited a great jeweller last time I was in London, he . . . " with every word it became clearer and clearer that he made her feel uncomfortable, she couldn't really stand still and she looked at him, her eyes pleading him to stop and she shook her head. "Have I offended you?" he asked with a whole different tone, still confused. But soon he realized his mistake. He had acted too fast too soon and now he had made her feel like a . . . "I just want to make sure you have everything you need" he tried, but she still wouldn't speak "I have offended you. I'm so sorry, Jane" he took her in his arms and she hugged him tightly, her head pressed against his chest.

She was afraid. In the beginning it had been he who had kissed her without her even knowing her own feelings, he who had told her to stay when she had been ready to leave, he who had then tracked her down wanting to be with her. And he had given her so much, without her ever asking for it. Still, she feared to become an installation, a woman he had waiting and who he could simply buy off when he tired of her.

"I love you" she whispered and for a second his heart stopped. He hadn't realized how he had longed for those words, how much he had needed to hear them. He kissed her hair, then put two fingers under her chin and tilted her head so he could look into her soulful eyes. She continued before he had a chance to reply.

"I know you can't say it because . . . because of how things are, but I wanted to tell you" she sniffed "That's why I am here with you. Not because of money, or what you've done for Freddie, though I can't help but love you more for helping him"

"Dearest Jane" his hands cupped her face "I know . . . and I you. That's why I want to be with you, want to take care of you, not because . . ." He didn't handle this as well as he'd hoped, not as a gentleman, this was not even a gentleman's situation to be in. The tears were threatening, but he fought to stop them. It hurt him that he couldn't say the word, but the truth was he wasn't even sure if he did love her. He did not not love her, he was definitely infatuated and that to ridicule, but maybe love wasn't the right word to describe the incredible fondness he felt for her. And even if it were, it wouldn't be right say it, not with Cora still living and breathing. "Do you believe me?"

She smiled through the tears and nodded. She did, but she knew they were in a hopeless situation. And in their hopeless situation the only thing they could do was to decide to be happy when they now had the time.

"Have you eaten? Do you want something?" she asked, not knowing whether he had had time to eat and it was well after luncheon.

"No" now the tears were gone and there was only her smile, their home and their time. She went up on her tippy toes and kissed him.

Her new bed was much bigger, but after they'd made love he still held her close. They lay there content and entwined, he had her small hand in his and he looked at her delicate fingers, the marks of a ring were visible on one of them.

"Tell me about your husband" he asked. She thought for a moment, not really knowing what to tell him.

"His name was Eric, he worked at the post office."

"Was he a good man?" It was crass of him to ask and he sent a pray for forgiveness from the man whose wife was now his mistress.

"Yes, a very good man, and a wonderful father." She sat up in the bed, the sheet covering most of her body, with her loose dark hair resting on her naked shoulders "I think it's good that Freddie got away from the memories, so he can move on"

"And how about you?" he regretted the question immediately, it was beyond crass, it was coarse. "I'm sorry. Look at me, jealous of a dead man when I've got no right . . . pathetic" It was ridiculous of him and unfair, he was the one who was still married. But she turned to him, took his face in her hands and stroked his trouble brow.

"I miss him, of course I do, but he is gone . . . and you have no reason to be jealous" she gave him a quick shy kiss and then a warm smile "I'm yours" slowly he smiled back at her.

"Does that mean I can buy you a dress?" he asked as he tried to at least pretend to be serious. But how could he, in their heavenly bed in their sheltered bedroom? He started laughing and she hit him with one of the pillows, but finally she agreed.

"Yes, and I'm sure you will be an excellent fashion consultant" and with that she kissed him again.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a happy Christmas indeed. Freddie had been home and had told his mother and grandmother all about Ripon. Apparently most of the teachers were good, the lodgings excellent, some of the boys were snobs, but he ignored them and had already made plenty of friends. His best friend was a boy named Oliver, but he swore he hadn't forgotten his old friends.

There had been a bit of a difficulty to explain why she had quit her job at Downton and new house, but Freddie was a good mannered boy and if his mother told him to stop asking questions he did, even though sharing strange glances with his grandmother. He was soon distracted however by all the food and the Christmas presents. There were knitted socks and sweater from his grandmother and both French and English classics from his mother. Unbeknown to him, one of the titles had been from Lord Grantham. Freddie's joy however had been nothing compared to his mother's happy tears when he gave her his gift, a little wooden horse that he had carved himself, not to mention when he handed her his school report.

"This is wonderful, Freddie!" she hugged and kissed him, something he only let her do on special occasions. She turned to her mother "Look, mother!"

"I can't believe I have such a clever grandson. Mathematics, Latin, history . . . What about philosophy? Compared to the other great work it stands out" Jane took back the paper.

"Mother, give him a break, my intelligent boy" she smiled at him, but he looked straight at his grandmother.

"That's professor Rosenstein, he doesn't really like scholarship boys"

"Freddie!"

"It's true mother, everyone says so . . . I promise I'll behave and show him that I'm just as good as those fancy pansies. " Now it was his grandmother who smiled at him.

"That's the spirit, Freddie, you just show them" Jane however tried to share the fun, but her Christmas spirit had somewhat diminished.

But now Christmas was over, so was New Year and both Freddie and her mother were gone. Jane was cleaning the kitchen for the second time that week wondering if she could write to the principal of Ripon Grammar and tell him about this professor Rosenstein. But she had promised Freddie she wouldn't. So she couldn't do that, the kitchen was perfectly clean absolutely nothing to do. She hung up her apron and in lack of better things she put on some tea and started once again reading through one of Freddie's history essays.

Suddenly there was a hard knock on the door. Before she had time to react there was another and then a key turned in the lock. Still sitting she saw a dishevelled Lord Grantham helping himself through the door and into the kitchen. She hadn't seen him since before Christmas, but she had been a Downton during a Christmas and New Year and knew how busy it was. But the state of him made her worried instead of happy, he looked like he was about to cry.

For a moment Robert just stared at her. "I'm sorry to come here unannounced, but . . ." he kept gazing at her and he could read confusion in her face. It didn't work! Whenever he saw her all his troubles left him, the outside world disappeared, but not now. His body was shaking.

"My word is crumbling, Jane" his voice cracked and she hurried up and over to him.

"What's happened?" she asked him while trying to get him to sit down on the kitchen couch.

"I can't stay long" he seemed confused and he kept looking around the room until she finally took his face in her hands. She was about to say something when there was a fuzzy noise. The tea! She hurried to take the pot from the stove and poured some into a cup and put it in front of him.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I'm so" still the tears were threatening and she sat down next to him and took his hand in his.

"Please, tell me what's happened" she asked him. Her concerned voice warmed his heart and he took up her hand to kiss it.

"Dearest Jane" finally he looked up at her "I've just been to Bates trial. They, they found him guilty of premeditated murder" Jane felt like her heart was about to break.

"They couldn't, he . . ."

"No, they did, but we will fight for him and he will be free" he told her most determined and with a slightly shaking hand drinking some of the offered tea. Jane exhaled, the all hope wasn't lost.

"Poor Mr Bates, and poor Anna, she must be devastated" then she looked back at him "No wonder you are so upset" Robert huffed half heartedly

"I wish that was the only thing, I thought with the war our worries would be over, and then the Spanish flu and then . . ." he stopped himself, he had been about to say _and then this_. He wouldn't change _this _for anything. Jane squeezed his hand and smiled that sweet kind smile. She cared for him much more than he deserved. "Can you imagine, I am going to be a grandfather" and for the first time he didn't feel total disagreement with the thought. Jane's smile widened.

"That's wonderful! Congratulations" What else could she say? She assumed it was Lady Sibyl, then that meant that she had Mr Branson must have married. "You must be so happy" She meant it, she know the joy such news brought to a family, hopefully. A small smile began to spread on Robert's face.

"I must admit it will take some time getting used to. The marriage, a child and that _chauffeur_" he uttered the last word as if it gave him a bad taste in the mouth. "But at least she claims to be happy, which is all I wish for Mary so . . ." he bit he tongue, he really shouldn't talk like this about his family.

Jane just nodded and rose to get a cup of tea for herself. "Of course you want them to be happy, you love them. We always wish the very best for our children." He just nodded, contemplating her words as he thought of his daughters. The business with Mary had almost been too much for him, but of course Jane was right, and he was in no mood for losing another daughter. His thoughts were interrupted by Jane.

"Speaking of, Freddie was thrilled for that Kipling novel, now he won't stop talking about India. And he's doing very well at school" she went back to the table and sat down again "Look"

She showed him the essay and the reports and finally that warm familiar feeling filled his heart. Suddenly Downton seemed so distant and Bates' trial wasn't more than a half forgotten nightmare. "This is great, Jane! Wonderful, really, my, Latin and history, I loved history . . . What about this, he doesn't like philosophy?"

"No he . . ." but then she decided against it, he had enough on his shoulders "I think he just needs some time getting used to it"

Robert nodded, but then looked at his watch. "Heavens, is that the time? I need to go back." He rose and headed for the door, but turned in the middle of a step back to her. She hesitantly walked over to him, standing close. He was yet to kiss her good bye "I'm glad that Freddie is doing so well. I wish I had happier news than this, this mess I come dragging with" She gently put her hand to his cheek.

"As sure as I am it will all work out, I wish I could relieve you from some of your burdens" She sounded so strong when she said it, like if he asked her she could give him some peace. He knew she could. Finally he placed his arms around her waist.

"You do, Jane, you always do" and he leaned down and kissed her. He felt her hands in his neck and then in his hair. Oh, how he loved her.

He managed to get back to Downton without anyone noticing that he had been gone. Only Mary commented on it when she found him in the library, stating that he had been hiding from them.

* * *

><p>When he then managed the courage to talk to her he meant every word of it. Not only that she wasn't the first Crawley to make a mistake, but after a chauffeur a cowboy would be an easy thing, maybe even exciting. Of course in his heart he still hoped that it one day would be her and Matthew.<p>

And after all his troubles, days of worries, it all seemed to turn. Mary would be free, Sibyl would have a baby and finally there was the happy news of Bates' change from death to life. Maybe Jane was right, maybe it would all work out after all. But when he shared the wonderful news with Cora and kissed his loving wife, Jane was far away from his mind. Like a distant memory of a fairyland dream.

* * *

><p><em>I loved that scene with Earl Grantham and Lady Mary, I just had to add it somehow. Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year to all of you!<em>


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the long wait. Had a bit of a hard time deciding where this story would go after the Christmas Special, but finally here's chapter 4. Hope you enjoy**

IV

Jane tried to smother yet another sigh. Her mother, Kathryn Johnson, and been a great help to her, but that had also given her mother the idea that she always knew how Jane should run her life. At the moment the topic was that Freddie needed a father figure. Fifteen was not old enough to be considered a grown man, you needed guidance, role models. Jane poured them some more tea and tried to listen, but finally interrupted her mother in the middle of a sentence.

"Freddie has a father figure. Just because Eric is dead does not mean that he isn't a good role model. Besides, mother, Freddie got accepted to Ripon Grammar, you and I must be doing something right. And he has plenty of teachers that he likes and looks up to. He has written to me about several of them." Her mother looked at her intensely, trying to read her daughter's mind.

"It is not only Freddie I am thinking of, Jane" she paused and drank her tea "Most people would agree that your grieving period is well over. It wouldn't be considered anything but perfectly natural if you were to marry again" at this Jane only laughed, the idea just seemed too ridiculous. She didn't even notice her mother's suggestive tone.

"And who would I marry, mother?" she asked in jest and without waiting for answer she rose and went to take their empty cups to her mother's sink. She didn't reach it, but froze when she again heard her mother's voice.

"Does that mean he's no one suitable then?" Jane slowly turned around. She hadn't told her mother anything. Only that she had moved and she had tried to explain it with that she had been able to afford it thanks to her job at Downton, the money she got as a war widow and that she didn't have to worry about Freddie since he had his scholarship. She should have known better than to expect that her mother would've believed her. She should have told her that she had found extra work somewhere.

Fortunately her mother didn't look mad, not even disappointed, just worried. "You didn't think you could fool your own mother? Wouldn't I notice that my girl had fallen in love? And with your new house. I figured you didn't want to say something in front of Freddie. I've waited for you to tell, but you insist on keeping it a secret . . . So what's wrong with him, hm? He's not a foreigner, is he?" Kathryn knew that a lot of women and men had found love among the refugees.

Jane thought for a moment, but quickly decided she would not lie to her mother. She continued over to the sink and put down the china. "No, mother, he's not a foreigner" her mother sighed with relief, but then tried other possibilities.

"Alright, he doesn't have any employment?" She suggested, though knowing with the house it wasn't likely. Jane scoffed and folded her arms. "Well, there must be something wrong if you haven't told me about him. Has Freddie . . . guessed anything?"

"No, he doesn't know. It is all a bit" she searched for words "complicated" suddenly her mother got a nervous smile on her face.

"Jane, dearest, he's not . . . he's not in trouble, is he? With the law, I mean" that made Jane almost lose her temper, but it was mostly due to guilt. She and Robert weren't the best people on earth, but they were no criminals.

"You think I would associate with a criminal, that I would put Freddie at such risk? Is that how low you think of me?" her mother immediately looked incredible guilty, which made Jane feel very much ashamed. She knew her mother was just looking out for her and Freddie. "I'm sorry, it's just that . . . I can't tell you more. You just have to trust me. Now I really have to go" she kissed her mother's cheek and headed for the door. Before she opened it however, Kathryn carefully called after her.

"I know you would never get yourself into trouble with a married man" Jane didn't even bother to turn around.

"I'm not in any trouble, mother" was all she said, took her bag and walked out on the street.

* * *

><p>There weren't a lot of people out and Jane slowly walked down the street. She hadn't really been in any hurry, she had just wanted to get out of there. What she and Robert had was perfect though you could hardly say the same about the circumstances. It couldn't lead anywhere, and they would forever be doomed to secrecy, but she was perfectly fine with what they had. Lost in her own thoughts she didn't notice the familiar face approaching her.<p>

"Jane!" the kind Scottish voice called. Startled Jane started looking for the voice. "Jane, I thought it was you"

"Mrs Hughes" she smiled at Downton's housekeeper "How are you?"

"Oh, I am good. And you look well. How have you been?" Jane felt a certain tension growing. She had never experienced anything but kindness from Mrs Hughes, but she suspected that the perceptive woman may have guessed something about her and Lord Grantham.

"Very well, thank you. How, how is everyone? I heard about Mr Bates"

"Did you? Yes, from the papers of course. Yes, we are all trying to cope. I feel so sorry for Anna"

"At least life is better than death" Jane said but bit her tongue. Mrs Hughes however didn't seem to react.

"Yes, you are right, of course." She said and tried to remember if that had really been in the papers, happy news didn't travel as fast as bad ones "So, have you found new work? We haven't heard from you since you left Downton"

"No, I . . . I help my mother. I've meant to write but" but every time she had thought about she had felt like whatever she wrote it would be lying. Mrs Hughes smiled at her.

"Well, at least now I can tell the others I've met you and that you are well" Suddenly she noticed the big bag "Going somewhere?" she asked kindly, but her face read suspicion.

"This? Oh this, this is just, just some clothes that my mother has mended for me" it was a stupid lie and she suspected she hadn't sounded the least convincing.

Mrs Hughes studied the younger woman, she was obviously not telling the truth. Something was not right, maybe the same something that had not been right when she had left Downton. But Jane was a grown woman, not working at Downton anymore and what she was doing with the bag was none of Mrs Hughes' business.

"Your son's alright I hope" Jane smiled, finally a topic she could handle without lying

"Yes, he's doing very well at Ripon"

"Lord Grantham is a very kind man" Mrs Hughes noticed in confusion that Jane turned slightly pale. Surely there was nothing that would make the mentioning of Lord Grantham make Jane react negatively. Not really knowing how to handle the situation she placed a gentle hand on the younger woman's arm. "Let us know how you get by, and if there's anything we can do to help" she stopped herself, though she could never imagine Jane would get herself in the same sort of trouble as Ethel, Mrs Hughes felt she had already had her fair share of worries "Take care, Jane" They said goodbye and hurried in opposite directions, Mrs Hughes towards Downton Abbey and Mrs Moorsum towards the train station.

* * *

><p>He had waited almost half an hour for her. Finally he saw her and he had to stop himself from rushing over and taking her bag. She saw him, only reacted with a slight nod and waited a minute before going after him into their cabin. He helped her to place her bag on the shelf and they sat down opposite to each other next to the window. They just sat there in silent, barely recognizing the other's presence, but soon after the conductor had checked their tickets it was evident that they would be alone with the four seats. Jane tried to relax and come up with something to say, anything. They couldn't go on like this for the whole trip.<p>

"My mother said she'd notice a change in my behaviour. Asked me if I had fallen in love with a foreigner" it was meant to be a joke, but he looked up at her with a disturbed look.

"What did you tell her?" Robert asked almost looking concern.

"That I wasn't" Jane answered a bit shocked and slightly hurt that he'd ask. But then forgive him, she knew the stressed he lived under and shouldn't add to his worries with silly jokes. She leaned forward and took his hand "And that was all I told her" she assured him. Robert sighed.

"Yes, of course. I'm afraid this trip as made me a bit uneasy" Now it was Jane's turn to look concern and he to lean forward and he gently stroked her hand "But I'm glad we're here" Cora had gone to Ireland to take home Sybil, it would take long before they had an opportunity like this again. They shared a smile, but a noise outside the door made them quickly separated as if they had burned themselves. They waited a second, nothing happened and Robert made an effort to relax. He hated being anxious. Unlike other men he'd heard of in similar situations he did not find the secrecy thrilling or exciting, just tiring. He couldn't wait for them to reach London.


End file.
